The 5 love languages

“Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”

―Gary Chapman,

---

As cheesy as it sounds, let’s talk about love. Because of COVID-19, I decided to listen to audio-books, and It was when I came across a book called ‘’The five love languages’’ by Gary Chapman. You may think this topic doesn’t quite fit study vibes, well I get your point. However, as an international student I should advise you when long distance comes between you and your family/ friends, you need to learn how to express your love to them in the best way possible. When I was a kid I thought if you simply love someone they just understand. However, as I grow up I figured out people can fail to show their love to their loved ones. This book simply illustrates that there are five languages; words of affirmation, act of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. It also clarifies that everyone has a primary love language, which means each of us think one of these 5 ways is the best path to our heart. In this post I will tell you a little bit about each of them, so let’s dive in.

---

Words and affirmation

These people love when you tell them how much you love them. They understand your love when you admire them, and tell them how much you enjoy their company. You can make them happy by encouraging them for the day that they have ahead or making sure they know how much they are good at their job when they are coming back home with a magical kind tone. It doesn’t sound hard, right?

Act of service

I’m pretty sure you have seen those classic movie scenes that a boy fixes girl’s car. Well that’s act of service and some girls love it. It just requires you doing something that the other person appreciate it, and it can be as simple as cleaning the kitchen or helping someone in their homework and relieving them from stress.

Receiving gifts

This is my weak point. I believe when someone decide to buy or make something for you they actively think about you and what makes you happy. Plus, gifts are visual signs of love and It’s so nice to look at them and think about the people that love you.

Quality time

These people want your full attention. This doesn’t include watching movies with them because they won’t be in the circle of your attention anymore. People whose primary love language is quality time want you to focus when they are talking and they enjoy to have meaningful conversations with you.

Physical touch

For some people physical touch is the primary representation of love. They just need a warm hug after a long day, or a kiss before they are starting their daily routine. These people admire massage you give them or those unpredictable hugs.

---

Ultimately, This book shows that each of us have a love tank and it can be filled by actions or words of people round us. So fuel is simply nice words that they say, works they do, little cute gifts and those warm hugs you receive. After this post, it may be crystal clear for you what is your primary love language or the your surrounding people. If it’s not, you can simply focus on their action, people usually show their love in the way that they want to receive it. In the case that you want to find your own love language feel free to use the following attachment, it's a mini quiz that can help you to find your primary love language.

Wish you all a full love tank. Mahtab XOXO

---

The Quiz for primary love language : http://bit.ly/2Bq1v4S